It feels recently as if there are so many things going on in my life that are helping me move towards my own radiant light.
 
Progress is coming step by step in my Blooming work:
 
I received 5 out of 5 stars from a reviewer for my book The Blooming of the Lotus.
 
I received again 5 out of 5 stars from another reviewer with a review reading:
Loved the book, how a survivor of incest takes you on a personal journey of healing. Shows that even in despair there is a light at the end of the tunnel, embarking on a maze of self-discovery, faith, healing and, most importantly of all, loving yourself for who and what you are.
 
After my book was chosen for the Top 12 BOOK Pick List for December on the Spirited Woman website, my Blooming work itself was invited to be on the Top 12 Pick List for the New Year. This list is a list of the work some of these women do. Spirited Woman has over 7000 followers on Facebook, connecting women to women. It especially concerns women who are doing things to heal the world and its people.
 
I have been invited to address the Domestic Violence Task Force in March in Greenfield, MA.
 
My grant to speak in conjunction with Abby’s House in Worcester, MA, was accepted!!! (Abby’s House is one of the oldest women’s shelters in the country.) In October in Worcester, for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I will have my first paid speaking engagement!!
 
All of this is incredible to me. It makes me so happy. I feel as if I am at last progressing in this Blooming work of mine.
 
BUT, even more, in a related but very inner part of my life, I am amazed to feel myself moving more and more into my own radiant light. I FEEL myself moving towards this, as I seek a way to bring together all of who I am into the work I do in and for the world. I feel my body and being creating this from my deepest self, and, in so doing, fulfilling my journey here.

​I know that what I give from this place will be that much richer.
 
To me, it is a miracle that I stand in this place today, after all I have endured, and I am so incredibly grateful.

Last July, The Blooming of the Lotus: a spiritual journey from trauma into light was published by WriteLife Publishing after I had self-published in September of 2013. My publisher submitted the text of my book to NetGalley to seek reviewers.

Nearly six months later, I have received my very first NetGalley review. My book was given its second rating of 5 out of 5 stars!! AND the review that follows is for a publication. Now I need to track down what publication!!

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Full Text: Loved the book, how a survivor of incest takes you on a personal journey of healing. Shows that even in despair there is a light at the end of the tunnel, embarking on a maze of self-discovery, faith, healing and most importantly of all loving yourself for who and what you are.

Yahoo!!!!

Lynn Andrews posted this evening:

LIVE YOUR TRUTH 
The truth is within your own heart and your own soul. When you become lonely and afraid, all the answers you will ever need will be found within yourself. Do not look so frantically out into the world for the answers to your questions. Look within, and ask yourself, "Am I being faithful to my own truth?" Losing that faith is the only real sin against the Goddess Mother, God, Great Spirit or whatever you want to name the great Devine. We forget who we are in this world of illusion. And it is the one thing that we must forgive and cure. The old one will survive in all of her women and men. 
Much love and spirit, 
Lynn


I found this post of Lynn's just so timely.
Everywhere in the last day or so, I have received this same message but in a different way. I pulled a Rune this evening about this and yesterday began a 12-week workshop on focusing my life so it’s about the truth that I am, rather than continually hedging for what will support me.
 
I have been coming to this for the last year, moving slowly towards it like the Turtle. It began to come to me over those 10 months of being sick.
 
I have so much to give from inside myself, from all of the healing I have done, from all of the darkness I have come through and the light that has been shown to me to bring me through that darkness. I am finally choosing to learn how to allow the enormous luminosity of who I am to radiate out and encompass fully what I do in the world. THIS is what I choose.

I will not any longer hold back for fear of my greatness or of my light Somehow, as I believe in myself more and more and allow myself more and more to not only claim my greatness but to also navigate from it, in the process I know I will find the way of life that is out there for me that will bring me the support that I need.


Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamsonit is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson
Often said to have been quoted in a speech by Nelson Mandela. The source is Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, Harper Collins, 1992. —Peter McLaughlin
With love and gratitude.

Last night at the Wagon Wheel Word in Gill, MA, I read two poems from my book "The Blooming of the Lotus: a spiritual journey from trauma into light."

Both poems are from Part III of my book, about the continuation of my healing process as I slowly move out into the light.

The first poem is from the chapter Triggered and is called "Fairy Dust:"

Fairy Dust      

I wish I could run,
that my ankles could take it
but they can’t.
So I walk 
as fast as I am able,
trying to escape 
the feelings inside me,
trying in a race to beat 
what trails me.

I feel as if I am carved out  — 
hollow  — 
so deep down,
they need to 
dredge the river
for my body,
tossed and turned and lost
amidst the clay-filled waters,
opaque 
with the run-off 
of spring.
They find me instead,
my limbs caught
in the tangled mass of trees
sent downriver with the flood
of the hurricane last fall.

Eyes wide open,
glassy, unseeing,
I am deadened and pierced
from accusations echoing
the voices of my parents
saying I am bad 
over and over  — 
the boy’s words
bringing it all back to me.

Yet,
as I walk along the river 
scribbling madly 
to try to exorcise 
these demons within me  — 
so fierce in self-flagellation  — 
here and there,
the whisper of glimmer
in the froth of tumbling waters
is able to get through.
On a section calm
from level land beneath,
I notice flicks of fairy dust 
picking up the light,
and my body  — 
dead and trapped 
in the overwhelm of hurt  — 
feels the tiniest lick 
of desire
to awaken from the dark
just maybe. 

I will my body 
to melt away
until I am spirit alone
for a moment.
I want to leave behind
my wounded flesh
and the ancient shame 
born with it.
I want to let
the shimmer on the water
touch my authentic self,
the one not held 
or maimed
by words.

If I let down my guard,
I can see reflected there
my own goodness
like fairies dancing,
and I know I must listen,
take it to heart,
and no longer let myself 
dwell 
on the bottom of the river
from what he said.

The sparkling waters say 
I am good,
I am pure,
I am the water and the light,
I have done nothing wrong
but loved 
and given 
all I could.
So I ask the river now
and all of life
to lend me the strength
so I may bury what hurts
and return  — 
born anew  — 
with trust in myself again
in only
that I am good,
not just in spirit
but in my daily life
as a mother
and one 
who is only human.


And the second poem from the chapter "The Blooming:"

Being Woman         

I came here bleeding
as in the poem I wrote
in the wee hours 
of the morning,
trying to shed 
the wounds of my past.
Trying trying
to let the last blood go,
be gone forever.

And then here
in this circle of women,
listening,
sharing and  — 
do I dare imagine?  — 
loving,
I find the possibility
of entering life
as others live it,
no longer alone
but with threads of hope
weaving in
among the sadness.

I feel growing
from the swill
of rotted blood
buds of roses,
hearts of others joining,
and an awakening
into what is 
life.

© 2015, Robin Lynn Brooks

I heard from my publisher on New Year's Eve that one of my NetGalley reviews came in.
A member of the Ravenswood Review Team gave it 5 out of 5 stars!!
I'm pleased as punch!!

Happy New Year!