A Shamanic Journey on the Solstice. Joining with White Spirit Buffalo towards Finding Inner Calm and Trust.
Written December 21, 2015, on the Solstice, at the High Beaver Pond:
Today, amidst the many feelings of chaos, fear, and anxiety about things in my life, I have come to the Beaver Pond and journeyed. I traveled down into my seven-trunk tree, into the trunk, the roots, and then down the white stone steps, through the old wooden door, and out to the desert altar place beyond.
I have circled around the small oval pool of water in the center of the altar place and stood before the birch bark mirror. Looking into it, I saw reflected in my face all that I felt.
As usual, I asked who would lead me today, and immediately White Spirit Buffalo nodded to me, so I went to him.
He bid me climb onto his back, and I lay down lengthwise along his wide, strong expanse. He began to walk, and as he did, I simply looked up at the sky and enjoyed the rolling movement, his solid warmth, and the feeling of just letting go.
Soon, though, I wanted to see where we were going. I sat up and joined with Buffalo so that we became one. We walked along the western edge of the desert plain to where the woods began. Entering, we descended a small hill and came upon a pool of mud. We walked out to the center of this shallow pool until the mud reached halfway up our body.
Standing there a while, I came to understand that this mud was a symbol for the mud the lotus grows in — the mud I have grown in — in order to become the being that I now am. I let myself feel this mud, its denseness, its warmth, like amniotic fluid and like being immersed in Earth. It is the place I have spent so much of my life, the place that created me. For the mud is not only the darkness I came from. It is also all that I moved through and what nurtured me, too, as I grew to the woman that I am. Standing in it now, I came to recognize how far I have come out of the darkness.
A great calm came over me, and I realized I must return to this mud pool of the lotus. I must come here over and over again to regain my calm, to feel this place that birthed me, to stand still and know all of who I have been. I must recognize that everything has sprung from this pool, from this place of transformation, enlightenment, and calm, which has become none other than the center of my own being. It reminds me that I am the beautiful flower who has bloomed out of the darkness, with Spirit guiding me. And Spirit will continue to guide me.
After a time of standing in the mud, slowly White Spirit Buffalo and I walked as one out of the mud towards the other side of the pool. As we walked — all in slow motion — I again became a woman, and the mud turned to the clearest water. As I moved out of the water, I watched and felt as it sluiced down my body, cleansing me, clearing me, and I stood on the bank, naked, shining in a miraculous light.
I asked, then, about trust, something I had asked about upon entering my journey. I heard the words: “Let go. Hand it over to us, and just do what you do. Clear the chaos from your physical life. Enjoy this time, these holidays, with those around you. All will be well. You will find your way. All will be perfect as it is meant to be.”
I had my answer.
I thanked them and returned to the altar place, flying on White Eagle’s back. I looked into the birch bark mirror once more and saw myself at peace.
On my way back home through the woods, I met a new grandmother tree, Hawk Woman Tree. Her only branches were two great arms that reached up to the sky like giant wings. Between these, as if a neck or a head, was the face of a hawk.
I felt this tree given to me as a gift to tell me of the magic to be found in seeking the other side, that we must always be alert to messages from Spirit.
I also passed the tree I found last week whose name today I heard as Strong Woman Tree. I felt I was being told of my own strength.
I continued towards home and, as I walked, received three separate and clear next steps for my life. I paused on the hillside across from the Great-grandfather Ledge. Stopping to listen and drink in his awesome power, I heard him say: “You have been given the grounding and reassurance that you sought, as well as the gifts of your next steps. Go home now and fly with these, Robin bird!”
Thank you, White Spirit Buffalo, White Eagle, Hawk Woman Tree, Strong Woman Tree, and all of you. Thank you for these Solstice messages that speak to me about release of what I cannot control and new energy and ideas of what I can do with the approach of this New Year. I have been blessed again.
As I write, I discover more and more who I am, and, as I do so, I share with you, in case anything I write may resonate with, help, or guide you.